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[16 Sep 2009|03:19pm] |
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I'm feeling superbly unambitious this afternoon. I should be cleaning house (my mother is coming by tonight). I should be making grape jelly (I have 20lbs of freshly picked concords sitting in the fridge). I should be over at the Y cleaning like I said I'd do. After writing a review, I don't feel like doing much of anything but sitting down and having a cup of coffee and letting my brain relax. Cheerful, but in an utterly lazy kind of way. :)
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| boxed lunch (something my sister wrote) |
[28 Aug 2007|06:21pm] |
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May 29, 2007 - Tuesday
Box Dinners
I'm actually not refering to eatting pussy, but once I wrote Box Dinners I just couldn't help myself but thinking that. Fantastic name for edible panties. "Just add Beef." Spicey Taco, Three Cheese Lasagna, Tuna Anything. You never hear anybody comparing a flavor to vagina. "Jee Chri if this don't taste just like a vagina... too bitter? No, that just right. That's vagina; you nailed it," I think it would be incredible if there was a vagina fruit. It would be the size of an orange and the skin texture of a grapefruit with maybe a peach or kiwi fuzz in the proper place, and you turn it over and there's a vagina. You wouldn't actually eat the vagina part, you'd peel it off with the rest of the skin to get to the fruit inside, but you know anybody buying a vagina fruit would probably give it a poke for fun. People hanging around in grocery stores squeezing on the vaginas, sniffing them to see if they're ripe. Everybody knows a ripe vagina is open! There's no need to go sniffing around those vaginas like a God Damned dog! I work at a grocery store. I would ALWAYS check on checkstand 16 or 17 just so I could hear the people in customer service returning their rotten vaginas. It looked so fresh! Who knew? I love it when people say, "spermed," instead of came or got off, as in, "I cut into my morning vagina just to find it had been spermed in!" My store would carry two full aisles of different types of vaginas.
I can't get the image out of my head of someone knocking over mountain of just stacked vagina fruits while running out of the store. They'd bounce away with a high pitched, "Weee!" In the Vagina Orchards you'd just have to whistle songs and they'd bounce right off the tree. In it's natural state the vagina is a very cheerful fruit. They would be staples at bars. Vodka and Vagina juice, a double V. They'd call it Vicki. "Can I get a Jack an' Vicki?!" "Can I have a Happy Couple?" "A VJ please?" "VD please (what is that, Diasiano?)," "Instead of a lemon wedge, can I get a slice of Vicki?" Some poor bastard would get drunk and choke on his wedge. Headlines would read, "Man chokes on Vagina!" and no could do a thing about it. "Woman chokes on Vagina, Husband Enraged!" How fantastic.
I think it would be nice to make a lantern with fake fairies in them just buzzing around. I would put them all over a bar if I had one.
(i had to repost it. my sister wrote that, i just noticed, and i laughed a lot. she funny.)
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[10 Jul 2007|04:03pm] |
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Another hot day, currently posted as a lovely 99 degrees out.
Went to a job interview for this place called Bookbyte.com here in Salem. It's basically an online text book reseller, they have like a five person call center, very tiny. I can't decide how the interview went. I have a ton of call center experience, but I also have a lot of other random things on my resume. I personally look at them and think it just makes me a little bit more well rounded since I've had a lot of experience doing different things, but I suppose it also could make me look like I lack commitment to any one thing or like I'm flakey and undecided about what I want to do.
Well rounded, yet surprisingly flakey... I could be describing a pie.
Either way, I'll know by friday if I got it or not.
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| a totally intoxicated review... |
[15 Jun 2007|11:24pm] |
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music |
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the south is gonna ri-ise again! |
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We got invited to a showing of this movie... Blood Sucking Redneck Vampires... Oh yes, the title says it all! It was really cool, the cast and crew and band that performed in the movie and the director were all there for a premier screening... even though the movie came out in 2004. It was filmed 'locally' in Winlock, Washington, with a few shots done in both Portland and Albany, Oregon. Somehow all the rednecks are of the 'southern hillbilly' variety. Now, I've met a LOT of Northwestern Rednecks, and none of them talk or dress much like the folks in this movie, and since there were plenty of things that pinned the film to Washington that just kinda made it funnier. There was all the cheese you could imagine and then some. This was no B movie, oh no! This was easily a D quality film or lower, but still a fun watch with plenty of good one-liners. There were more fart jokes than your average South Park 'Terrance and Phillip Special', if you can believe that. The movie itself is really long and could do with some major editing, but over all it wasn't half bad. Cletus, the vampire midget is worth seeing this movie if for no other reason at all. The guy is an ok actor and gosh-darned funny. He's easily got all the best lines. Afterwards, the director was there to answer questions- the two big ones preying on everyone's minds? WHAT was the pagent little Eva Poisser and Missy Sue Peterson were competing in? (We all thought it was the 'Trout Days' pagent, turns out it was 'Tripe') and HOW much beer did you guys drink during the filming? Answer? Entirely too much. Seriously, that's what the director said.
Ah yes... local film making at its finest...
http://www.drsquid.net/brv
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| reposted as this is good stuff and should be read by all... |
[01 Apr 2006|06:44pm] |
I am the guy who came out to the entire school in his senior speech and got a standing ovation for his courage.
I am the girl who kisses her girlfriend on the sidewalk and laughs at those who glare.
We are the couple who planned and studied and got a damn good lawyer and BEAT the state that wanted to take our child away.
We are the ones who took martial arts classes and carry pepper spray and are just too dangerous to gay bash.
I am the transgender person who uses the bathroom that suits me, and demands that any complaining staff explain their complaint to my face in front of the entire restaurant--and shares with my other trans friends which restaurants don't raise a stink.
I am the mother who told her lesbian daughter to invite her girlfriend over for dinner.
I am the father who punished his son for calling you a fag.
I am the preacher who told my congregation that love, not hate, is the definition of a true follower of God.
I am the girl who did not learn the meaning of "homosexual" until high school but never thought to question why two men might be kissing.
I am the woman who argues (quite loudly and vehemently) with the bigots who insist that you do not have the right to marry or raise children.
We are the high school class who agrees, unanimously, along with our teacher, that love should be all that matters.
If you agree, repost this. Do it. You don't have to be afraid. You can handle it. You're stronger than you think.
I am making a difference. Hate will not win.
I'll still love you if you don't repost it though
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| and up next, zombie holocaust! well, maybe not... |
[26 Feb 2006|10:37pm] |
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>>>>
Canada Geese Falling Out of the Sky in Oregon
Recombinomics Commentary
February 4, 2005
Geese are literally falling from the sky in and around Keizer, and wildlife experts don't know why.
About 150 Canada geese were found dead Friday at a private pond off
Wheatland Road owned by Morse Bros. Rock Products in rural Marion
County. 30 or so other dead birds were discovered 3 months ago near Staats Lake, a private lake in Keizer….
Wildlife officials said that in recent weeks, large numbers of dead geese
also have been found in Monmouth and McMinnville. They don't know if the incidents are related….
There are a number of possibilities here, including Avian cholera
All three areas (Keizer, Manmouth, and McMinnville) are in the vicinity of Salem Oregon. Since the geese have been dying over an extended time period and extended region, infectious disease can't be ruled out. Canada geese falling out of the sky sounds remarkably like the pigeons falling out of the sky in Thailand and the suggestion of avian cholera sounds like the dead ducks in Vietnam.
The areas of the dead geese are relatively close to Vancouver, Canada, where there was an outbreak of H7N3 avian influenza last season.
It's now a new season with new sequences, so bird flu is a definite consideration.<<<<
(i currently live in salem. aint that lucky?)
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| all wet |
[13 Feb 2006|02:25pm] |
i'm sick at home today. found this still floating around on the hard drive. still think its just about the cutest misfit pic ever! its from one of the jem Golden books. :)
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